mudcat mikey

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Short Stories #1 to #200

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #001 Icky's Gold
Icky is an Australian gold miner who encounters wild animals, harsh environment, weather and fellow miners while seeking a fortune in gold.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #002 Spar's Flock
Spar is an African vulture that flies over the plains, eating everything it can find, including impala, zebra, rhino and giraffe, while it tries to survive as the leader of its flock of resilient and wiry birds.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #003 Rocky's Treasure
Rocky is a scuba diver who made a pretty good living from diving for treasure chests that had been on sunken ships.  That part of the world near Key West, Florida had been a very common navigation route for Spanish vessels transporting gold from America back to Spain.  After discovering a trunk of gold doubloons on the sea floor, Rocky was attacked on the way back to the boat.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #004 Beagle's Tale
This is a story about a wandering beagle that has many different owners and names as it experiences numerous adventures, thrills, chills and difficulties, but endures everything that life throws at it.  This beagle is the definition of a survivor.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #005 Bone's Clan
Bone is a cave dweller in ancient times trying to exist by dealing with large and small dinosaurs, other fierce creatures, fellow cave people and generally poor physical/oral hygiene.  Bone's name was derived from the practice of eating the marrow from the bones of the slayed animals.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #006 Bong's Farm
Bong is a gigantic rooster on a farm where all other the animals and roaming critters are subject to Bong; at least that's how Bong looks at it. Bong felt stronger, more intelligent and more capable than all the other creatures around, including any humans.  Bong was a megalomaniac and was the master of all.  Bong respected Zeke, the owner of farm, but Bong still felt he was more important than Zeke.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #007 Teddy's Run
Teddy is a runner who hopes to win a 1962 Cadillac by running across the United States.  As could be imagined, Teddy "runs" into many challenges along the way, including filth, thirst, hunger, loneliness, injuries, scoffing, bullying and near-death experiences.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #008 Axon's Prize
Axon is a pelican that lives in Monterey, California that spends its time pilfering any shiny objects that cross its path, including fishing reels, lighters, rings, watches, chains, eyeglasses and other choice bits.  For as long as the pelican could remember, things that sparkled had tickled its fancy.  Axon had quite the collection of twinkly things stashed in the large nest of the dead oak tree that was located about a mile inland from the boat marina.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #009 Alfonso's Fishing
Alfonso is a member of a commercial fishing family in Italy, fishing for shellfish, crabs, mollusks, shrimp, eels, squid and lobster.  On one fateful day, a large object was raised from the ocean.  Alfonso awoke at 4:30 am on that Monday morning, and was heading out into the Mediterranean Sea when it happened.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #010 Donte's Era
Donte is a 157 year old dinosaur living in the dinosaur age that eats both other dinosaurs and vegetation, depending on mood, time of day, time of year and current gastrointestinal condition.  Donte had been happily feeding on apples from a tree for 5 hours with no hassles until the pack of riptors approached.  Riptors were particularly aggressive dinosaurs that usually hunted in packs of 3 or 4.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #011 Nanko's Dogsled
Sled dog teams are a valuable commodity in Alaska.  When the snows were falling, some areas had no clear roads.  When no other form of transportation was possible, the sled would always be able to get through.  Nanko runs a dogsled team of 6 dogs in Alaska, on which medical supplies are shuttled between villages, while walruses, bears, snow, disease and bitter cold occasionally make life difficult.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #012 Ceola's Hunger
Ceola the alligator was the result of the first egg to hatch from the pile of eggs that its mother had laid 43 years before.  Ceola is 29 feet long, weighs 617 pounds and devours hundreds of pounds of fish, ducks, turtles, wild boar, porcupines, moose and other alligators, while living in a hidden Florida swamp. The swamp was never seen by human beings, being completely concealed, swampy, muddy and mosquito infested.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #013 Rex's Ocean
It was too late. Unfortunately, Rex had attracted the unwanted attention of a flock of frigate birds that had been flying across the Atlantic Ocean from Miami, Florida to Nassau, Bahamas.  Rex is a partier who fell off a yacht in the Bermuda Triangle and ends up swimming, floating, treading water and basically turning into a wretch from the effects of the sharks, birds, stress, salt water and sunshine.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #014 Echo's Guidance
Echo is a dolphin with more than average intelligence that was rescued from an Atlantic Ocean commercial fishing net and became a surfboard of sorts for a blind surfer named Travis, who would have turned professional, if not for his unfortunate accident.  One day while Echo and Travis were surfing a rare 22-foot wave, one of the pros forgot to bring in their board and chaos ensued.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #015 Rafi's Cave
Rafi is an 8 year old child living on a volcanic island who becomes trapped in a cave when a volcano unexpectedly erupts and covers the child's home and village with lava.  On the 77th day, Rafi awakened to tears again, waking up every day crying.  Rafi was sad and disillusioned and was beginning to give up hope.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #016 Fausto's Nook
Fausto emerged hungry again from its little cave in the coral reef in Bonaire.  For the past 69 years, Fausto had lived there, gradually enlarging the nook to accommodate ever-increasing size.  Fausto is an 810 pound octopus with 177 tentacles, living in the Southern Caribbean, where it devours sting rays, fish, sharks, barracudas, squid, turtles and other octopi.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #017 Aldo's Lockbox
Aldo was driving the 1969 Dodge Charger from Georgia to an island off South Carolina, to stash the lockbox before anyone could discover the vast wealth in the box.  Aldo swerved to avoid the animal in the road and the car went under the surface of the water, down into a deep pool at the bottom of the roaring waterfall.  Aldo opened his eyes to see a huge black snake at the bottom of the pool with a large green bullfrog in its mouth.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #018 Major's Mission
Major is a large and happy 49 pound house cat, resulting from an experimental mix between a Maine Coon cat and a bobcat, also known as a Maine-Bob.  Major's first client was a 101-year old woman who loved to play checkers.  The vet emphasized Major's superior intelligence and its ability to learn quickly.  The old woman was pleased to discover that Major could be taught to play checkers.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #019 Ignacio's Itch
Ignacio jumped from the helicopter at the top of the ski run and landed in the snow as usual.  The impact caused a great shelf of snow to collapse and initiated an avalanche.  Ignacio was going down the mountain with it and had no control over the outcome, which left the skier buried, stuck and unable to move.  Even the strongest person on earth would be unable to move in that situation.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #020 Galen's Brain
Galen is a rare gorilla from Africa that was able to use sign language, speak English and solve complex mathematical expressions.  The gorilla continued studying the formula board in the lab, sleeping on the floor in front of it.  Galen woke up in the middle of the night sometimes to look at the formula board for a while, and then go back to sleep again.  It was clear to Barton and Abigail that the gorilla was obsessed with an equation on the board.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #021 Jacob's Breeze
Jacob is a balloonist who designed and constructed a large floating device, comprised of 3 balloons, each 1,000 feet high.  The plan was to fly from East to West across the U.S. toward California, then to cross the Pacific Ocean.  Jacob floated at a high enough altitude to have room for error if something went wrong.  If the balloon started losing elevation quickly, there would still be plenty of elevation to find a solution before crashing, except for the unexpected hurricane toward which the balloon was now heading.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #022 Halina's Trunk
Halina is an otherwise ordinary looking elephant in India that possesses otherworldly powers and is capable of performing seemingly impossible feats of mysticism and psychotherapy.  Piedad brought Omer to the elephant stable to witness Halina's power.  Halina walked over and instinctively placed the end of its trunk at Omer's ear and began muttering. Omer immediately started to smile.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #023 Keenan's Decision
Keenan, Neil and the 2 Sherpas were almost at the peak of Mt. Yetta in the Himalayan Mountains, when tragedy struck the fearless climbers.  On the 3rd day descending, Keenan was shocked at the sudden sight of Neil and Mohan dangling in the air by a rope, swinging to and fro with the wind gusts!  Keenan yelled to Neil.  Gerhan yelled to his brother.  There was no response from either dangler!

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #024 Nestor's Duty
Nestor is a lion that was raised from a zoo cub to work as a K-9 animal and proved valuable on its first mission by saving Police officers.  Nestor grabbed one suspect by the back of the leather jacket and threw the person out the window into the street. The 5th criminal threw their gun to the floor and their hands in the air and luckily Nestor's training forced the lion to stop attacking when a perpetrator surrendered. The lion smacked the perp to the floor and held the thug there with one great paw.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #025 Lamar's Despair
Lamar the Yeti, at 7'5" tall and 393 pounds, sat ravenously feasting in the Kentucky woods on 14 squirrels, 6 rabbits, 3 raccoons, 7 possums, 2 whitetail deer and 130 crayfish.  Lamar sharpened the flint points of his weapons to a sharpness beyond razor sharp.  The creature found a special plant with poisonous leaves and rubbed the leaves on all the flint pieces.  Lamar planned to use the weapons against the strange ones.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #026 Olen's Lie
Olen is a black bear cub that was found by the side of the road by a 98 year old who could barely see, and thinking Olen was actually a dog, raised the bear with the other dogs of the family.  One day, Olen stopped climbing to just below where the honeycombs were located in a nice crotch of a tree and proceeded to eat the still-frozen leg of lamb!  Stanley yelled up at Olen, "Get down from there, you crazy dog!"  Olen ignored Stanley and polished off the lamb.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #027 Carson's Study
Carson's favorite book as a genius child was Mary Shelley's, "Frankenstein."  The idea that a human being could be brought to life from an assemblage of body parts so intrigued Carson, that it had to be attempted.  Carson as a scientist was famous decades before by winning the Nobel Prize, but had fallen out of favor in the industry due to recent exploits.  Carson won the Prize for work in genetics and after winning the prize, became a member of the group of scientists that cloned "Dolly" the sheep.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #028 Palmer's Kids
Palmer is a mini horse whose purpose is to calm and occupy the confused and rambunctious children of a family that just lost a family member.  The kids set up an obstacle course in the yard composed of various toys and bicycles, etc.  Palmer ran through the course with flying colors and was really fast!  When Palmer ran, the boys hit it with water balloons and when a balloon broke and splashed Palmer, the horsie cheerfully whinnied!

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #029 Malcom's Grief
Malcom awoke to tremendous noise, blinding flashes of light, intense pain and the smell of burning flesh. The creation's ankles, wrists and neck hurt tremendously from the hot metal bands that encased them.  The deafening cacophony continued and Malcom couldn't see anything but glaring light.  The creation could only smell and feel flesh burning.  Dr. Frankenstein and assistant Diamond shrieked with joy at their new creature named Malcom!

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #030 Quinton's Treats
The year was 1969 and it was a good year to be a bear in Yellowstone.  It was an even better year to be a raccoon named Quinton.  The bears dominated the dumps and always put on a good show for the tourists, because the bears were good at catching snacks in their mouths.  By stealing food from the bears, Quinton had grown to an enormous size for an American raccoon, weighing a hefty 96 pounds, but the bears didn't like it.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #031 Raleigh's Fever
It was a month before the Daytona 500 and it was Raleigh's job to take the owner's racecars onto the test track and drive them at full speed to tweak the engines, tires and suspensions.  Car #3 had a sloppy rear suspension, which required final dialing in.  Raleigh maxed the car out at 240 mph on the straightaway and fully expected the car to turn easily into the left-hand curve; however ...

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #032 Sixta's Chamber
Sixta was a large fruit bat, but wanted to get much larger by supplementing the fruit diet with blood.  It was unheard of for a fruit-eating bat to drink blood.  There was no way that a typical fruit bat with a sweet tooth for fruit would ever consider sucking down the warm salty blood of a living animal like the vampire bats did, but Sixta needed to do it! 

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #033 Tristan's Sand
Tristan was winning big at a blackjack table in Vegas and apparently someone thought it was too big, because the next moment, Tristan was waking up in the desert!  Tristan concluded that someone had slipped a Mickey into the can of Coke. Tristan lost clothes, money, ID, everything and must have been roughed up a little, because of all the body aches.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #034 Yute's River
Nature had placed the giant catfish Yute in the best possible location for a 1,000 pound 12-foot long catfish to grow and be happy, the Amazon River.  Alarmed, Yute turned upstream and started swimming at a rapid rate to break loose from the hook.  Brador shrieked, "I got one!"  Ardith said, "I told ya boy!  Don't lose 'em.  Loosen the bail!"  Brador listened, but Yute launched like a torpedo.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #035 Zoomo's Feet
Zoomo loved being a clown and was really good at making balloon animals, winning many awards for it in Clown College.  The clown trainees had to wear full clown makeup and costume when in public.  They were followed around by was called an "enforcer clown" who would yell at them, "Do you love it?  Do you love it?"  The only acceptable response by the trainee had to be, "Yes, I love it!"

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #036 Afton's Dam
Afton was one dam building fool, anxious to get back to the latest dam and unlike most beavers that built dams for a reason, Afton built dams for the challenge.  Work was underway on the largest beaver dam attempt of its kind. There was a buzz in the air.  For the first time, different beaver colonies had come together to work as a team toward a common goal.  The beavers were excitedly talking about how nice their new lake was going to be.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #037 Dario's Passion
Dario's mission was to help Lamont, who had been born with a body covered from head to toe with fur, because of DNA that had mutated, resulting in Lamont's lycanthropy.  After 2 months of experimenting with DNA, Dario's employee Kareem discovered the solution to Lamont's problem.  Kareem had invented a process whereby DNA from Lamont's blood would be mixed with the DNA from a wolf's blood, and then the mixture would be manipulated.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #038 Dagmar's Revenge
Dagmar was an extraordinarily intelligent rat and it was unfortunate that it had been placed in a cage in the laboratory with all the other lab rats, because Dagmar planned to exact revenge against the people who had placed him there.  The cages appeared to the average rat to be escape-proof, but Dagmar had been observing how the doctor had been opening and closing the cages.  It would be tricky, but it seemed possible to operate the latch on the cage by reaching far enough between the thin bars.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #039 Earnest's Call
Earnest is an elderly character who was working on the farm one day, when a sudden health issue occurred that made simply existing a challenge, requiring a maximum application of willpower to survive.  After 3 weeks of crawling, Earnest had reached the faucet and still had plenty of meat in the bucket!  The oldster drank from the faucet on and off for hours, ate some meat, drank more water and finally began to feel a bit better.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #040 Ellsworth's Spark
Ellsworth missed many things about the homeland of Egypt, but mainly missed the heat, which forced the camel to figure out how to start fires.  Zookeepers ran into Ellsworth's paddock to retain the camels in the sleeping structure for their protection.  Soon, alarms were sounding in the zoo and the Fire Department arrived to extinguish the flaming pile of urine-soaked straw.  The smell of the smoke pouring from the burning pile was horrendous!

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #041 Felton's Mansion
Felton had been a butler for 41 years at Garth's mansion and thought everything had been seen, but Felton's aging boss Garth had finally gone too far, with that humdinger of a party gone awry.  Felton was accustomed to hearing knocking at the door in the middle of the late night, due to Garth's many unusual nocturnal requests.  When Felton opened the door, Garth was shivering, soaking wet, with wide bloodshot eyes.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #042 Garnet's Web
As Garnet's luck would have it, an Atomic Energy plant had been recently constructed upstream of the spider's web location, which resulted in Garnet's mutation into a prodigious spider.  A fox floated downstream one day and Garnet hurriedly climbed up into the corner of the web to watch.  The fox had been caught in the web!  Yes!  Garnet sneaked down to the animal, stung it and wrapped it up for dinner.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #043 Darick's Kingdom
When King Darick awoke in the King-sized bed, a pull on a cord brought in a crew of servants and Zenon the Wizard, all of whom were supposedly totally devoted to the King, supposedly.  Darick had always given Zenon a wide berth, but never knew what the wizard was thinking.  Zenon never smiled, laughed, spoke loudly or cried.  Zenon stood in the corner observing the morning ritual from a dark corner and was muttering something in a new raspy low whisper.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #044 Hassan's Dirt
Most people think sinkholes are caused by old water mains breaking.  Not always.  Sometimes, the sinkholes are caused by a monstrous tunneling mole named Hassan.  Hassan had traveled the entire U.S., tunneling for millions of miles, causing incalculable damage in the process and was just living life.  The mole always stayed one step ahead of the authorities and didn't feel like a criminal, being labeled one by the humans above.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #045 Jarrett's Risk
Jarrett would bet on anything.  Sometimes, a lot of money was won and other times, it resulted in living on the street with the other loser gamblers.  Jarrett started a betting strategy and borrowed $20,000 from a loan shark on the city limits.  Then, $40,000 had to be paid back to the shark within the month, or else. The money began piling up immediately.  Jarrett reached $100,000 during the 1st week and placed increasingly higher and higher bets with the winnings, until ...

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #046 Kazuko's Banana
Kazuko was still a growing shark when the accident happened, at only 8 feet long, not a fully grown Great White.  While swimming in the cloudy shallows, feeding on tiny colorful fish, a motor boat passed over.  Elbert bandaged Kazuko's damaged tail and caught some fresh fish from the lagoon for the shark to eat.  Elbert had helped numerous sharks to recover from their propeller injuries and that's when Elbert got the idea to use Kazuko as a banana boat!

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #047 Lionel's Illusions
Lionel had 2 sources of income.  One source was from the funeral parlor.  The other source was from occasional evening and weekend gigs as an illusionist.  Like most illusionists, Lionel hated the term magician.  The bodies were always supposed to come from the funeral parlors.  Lionel's assistant brought up the fact that they were running out of corpses.  They wouldn't be able to maintain the pace of performing without having a lot more dead bodies to use in the act.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #048 Osvaldo's Oink
Designer dog breeds were becoming all the rage.  Osvaldo came into the world as a first in breeding.  People had waited a long time to get their hands on the first successful cross between a Chihuahua dog and a pig, named by the breeder, a chia-pig.  Osvaldo decided to wait for things to settle down before he absconded with any more of Paris' shiny objects.  Two days later, when Paris was asleep, Osvaldo performed the same act and flushed a necklace down the toilet.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #049 Porfirio's Gaze
When Porfirio was on stage, the powers of hypnotism went beyond the ability to simply convince impressionable people to do funny things.  When Porfirio was young in the school cafeteria, the bully Zack sprinkled itching powder down the back of Porfirio's shirt and Zack often spat in Porfirio's food, making it difficult for Porfirio to finish eating it.  It was time for Porfirio to get even.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #050 Quincy's Eggs
Quincy the male ostrich mated with the 900 hen ostriches of Winford's ranch.  For some unknown reason, when Quincy began mating with Winford's ostriches for egg production, the size of their eggs doubled.  Rival egg company Nutrico hatched a plan to steal Quincy from Winford and hold the ostrich for the ransom of Winford leaving the industry.  Quincy had been sharpening his front toenails since he was a baby and a single kick from one of those powerful legs can split a man down the middle.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #051 Ulrich's Patients
Some days were particularly brutal, involving many strange revelations being spoken.  It was a good thing for some of Ulrich's psychiatric patients that there was a confidentiality agreement in place.  Many of the people were on the verge of criminal activity, at least as far as the patients were saying.  Ulrich remembered to remain calm with one particular person, walked over to them standing at the window and whispered to please sit down.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #052 Xavier's Might
Xavier is the biggest, baddest bull in the history of bull riding.  In 23 years of carrying riders, no rider had managed to get a full ride.  Out of 13,400 rides, thousands of injuries had been inflicted, many of them fatal.  As the bull grew older, it decided to start getting really mean to make up for its diminishing abilities.  Xavier would begin by mauling the best rider in the industry and then gradually work down the list.

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Stories #053 Yuriko's Lips
Yuriko came onto the scene with the best ventriloquist act to be seen and heard by anyone since the beginning of such acts.  As Yuriko sat in the hotel room, Yuriko said to the ventriloquist dummy Yanno, "We did it Yanno!  We made it on the road!  We're stars already!"  Yanno said, "I told you we could do it.  You just had to trust me!"  As Yuriko and the dummy Yanno sat in the hotel room watching TV, they started arguing over what to watch.
 

 

 

 

Mudcat Mikey's 200 Short Stories #1 to #200 are thought-provoking and action-packed stories comprised of:

Desperate Gold Miners, Rotted-Meat Eating Vultures, Greedy Treasure Hunters, Rambunctious Beagles, Aggressive Cave Dwellers, Crazed Roosters, Foolhardy Runners, Quirky Pelicans, Expert Anglers, Gigantic Dinosaurs, Robust Dogsleds, Enormous Alligators, Near-Drowning Swimmers, Talented Dolphins, Lost Children, Insane Octopi, Troublesome Lockboxes, Huge Gangly Cats, Unpredictable Skiers, Intelligent Gorillas, Failed Balloonists, Mystical Magical Elephants, Reckless Mountain Climbers, Law-Enforcement Lions, Mysterious Yetis, Confused Bears, Wondrous Mini-Horses, All Manner of Monsters, Garbage Dump Raccoons, Suicidal Racecar Drivers, Troublesome Bats, Stinging Scorpions, Anguished Gamblers, Colossal Mudcats (Catfish), Chucklesome Clowns, Industrious Beavers, Downcast Werewolves, Useful Laboratory Rats, Emergency Telephones, Arsonistic Camels, Devoted Butlers, Terrifying Tarantulas, Despotic Kings, Fearsome Wizards, Menacing Moles, Savage Sharks, Idiotic Illusionists, Playful Pigs, Evil Hypnotists, Massive Ostriches, Half-Witted Psychiatrists, Death-Dealing Bulls, Vivacious Ventriloquists, Pesky Woodchucks, Murderous Secret Agents, Leaping Lizards, Engulfing Quicksand, Accelerating Cheetahs, Tainted Daredevils, Ferocious Snapping Turtles, Underpaid Pony Express Riders, Miserable Wolves, Stouthearted Pilots, Uproarious Screaming Goats, Buried Army Tanks, Lawbreaking Ferrets, Moronic Survivalists, Big Scary Creatures, Imbecilic Buckaroo Cowboys, Untamed Talking Parrots, Unscrupulous Bounty Hunters, Nut-Crazed Squirrels, Zany Zookeepers, Astounding Geniuses, Accomplished Pianists, Special Service Dogs, Proud Native Americans, Herculean Orangutans, Plucky Lobster Harvesters, Deranged Arsonists, Cheerful Santa Claus, Badboy Billionaires, Vexing Pet Stores, Proficient Entertainers, Numerous UFO Sightings, Enterprising Chemists, Overworked Pathologists, Chucklesome Storytellers, Lavish Resorts, Broken Recreational Vehicles, First-Class Inventors, Materialistic Private Investigators, Idyllic Deserted Islands, Loving Chimpanzees, Corrupt Computers, Loggerheaded Cryonics Concepts, Stem Cell Scientists, Underappreciated Dentists, Mercenary Concierges, Distraught Immigrants, Transcendent Animal Whisperers, Uppity Restaurant Servers, Despondent Homeless People, Chiseling Defrauding Grifters, Transgressing Dumb Convicts, Titillating Time Travel, Breakneck Gnarly Pirates, Pusillanimous Actors, Blood-Lusting Vampires, Tireless Truck Drivers, Crafty Oil Well Firefighters, Rotten Educated Stockbrokers, Brain Dead Mentalists, Huge Contented Hippos, Nervous Combatants, Well-Meaning Hooligans, Assiduous Migrant Workers, Psychotic Psychotherapists, Testosterone-Laden Movie Producers, Surprising Cave Musicians, Downhearted Misanthropes, Unflagging Boy Scouts, Unhinged Goofy Cavers, Disgusting Wasteful Obesity, Pig-Herdable Sheep, Always-Useful Bicycles, Tenacious Twins, Bold Bald Eagles, Our Indispensable Farmers, Malcontent Cashiers, Disgruntled Office Workers, Local Superheroes, Strange Church Confessions, Secret-Keeping Priests, Ouija boards, Boldfaced Lying Psychics, Hippy Resurrectionists, Sensory Deprivation Tanks, Scary Tunnels, Annoying Air Travel, Filthy Swimming Pools, Road-Raging Commuters, Gallant Letter Carriers, Nosy Knot-Headed Neurologists, Thanksgiving Horrors, Disciplinary Ponies, Maniacal Taxi Drivers, True Visionaries, Human Subjects, Life-Risking Hitchhikers, Dirt-Poor Scroungers, Trials and Tribulations, Ridiculous Politicians, Waiting in Lines, Healthy Happy Nutritionists, Crafty Scheming Warlocks, Cherished Police, Family Reunions, Maleficent Genies, Unprincipled Unethical Contractors, Tanned Lifeguards, Trusting Missionaries, Tough Correction Officers, Oafish Bank Robbers, Alaskan Eskimos, Ruthless Kidnappers, Stressed ER Doctors, Dedicated Immigration Officers and Lifesaving Food Kitchens!